7.45am. Make double-glazing surveyor a cup of tea, then doorbell rings.
It is the oven cleaning man, who I get to come round and give my oven an industrial-style clean once a year. I usually do this just before my stepmother comes to stay, otherwise she spends the weekend cleaning it, bless her.
8am. Make oven cleaning man a cup of tea, then telephone goes. It is my mother, asking me when my daughter's school show is on. (My daughter is playing Maria in The Sound of Music.) I say end of March. My mother says she has booked to go to Spain that week, and could I double-check dates to see if there are any she could manage.
8.30am. Check dates, and realise that I have told my father and my stepmother the wrong date for the Saturday matinee performance.
8.34am. Ring stepmother. They have already bought their train tickets and have booked to do something the following weekend.
9am. Feeling stressed.
9.30am. Man arrives to fit new blinds in daughter's bedroom. (My daughter, as well as being talented musician and performer, has superhuman ability to destroy any kind of window treatment. I swear she can break a blind or pull down a curtain rail with one glance.)
9.31am. National Gardens Scheme organiser arrives to deliver posters and leaflets for garden opening. Residents-only parking hour is about to start. NGS organiser decides probably cheaper not risk parking ticket while stopping for cup of tea, so after a lightning tour of the garden, departs. Blinds man drives off in search of legal parking place.
9.45am. Blinds man returns. I make him cup of tea.
10am. Computer man emails to say that he will not be able to make 1.30pm appointment as the stuff he has ordered to ram up our Macs has not arrived. Grrrr.
10.01am. Feeling more stressed. Daughter told me the other day that her computer is so slow, she feels like throwing it out of the window. I fear for new blinds.
10.30am. Oven cleaning man finishes up. In an effort to relax and lighten up, I tell him about amusing spoof of The King's Speech a friend has forwarded to me. He has not seen The King's Speech. Completely bemused by my description of spoof.
11.04am. Ring mother and give her dates of Sound of Music performances. She says she has already booked flights to Spain and will not be back in time.
11.30am. Blinds man finishes. Says he has to go and get car and can he leave his tools here and come back for them. I say yes, but can I borrow his electric screwdriver to finish putting together an Ikea chair? I have cut my hand gardening and cannot grip screwdriver.
11.32am. Blinds man heads upstairs with electric screwdriver and sorts out chair. Result!!!
11.44am. Blinds man heads off with tools and my voluble thanks ringing in his ears.
11.52am. Mother rings to say she has changed flight to Spain and will be able to see the hills come alive after all.
12 noon. Feeling bit more relaxed. Now, what on earth am I going to do with the rest of the day? Oh, I know. Supermarket.